Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I used to have a blog. It fizzled and died, partly of my own doing, partly from circumstances out of my control. So I came here, and have made a positively dreadful attempt at a fresh start. I miss blogging, but not acutely. More in a vague nagging kind of way, like a friend you keep meaning to call--really want to call, in fact--but never do. Until finally you can't call because it's been too long and the elapsed time has made conversation awkward and forced.

So what does one write about when it's been two weeks without any words?

Tonight I went to Boo's preschool graduation. Oh, I know the idea of graduating from preschool--as if they had achieved some sort of degree in letter recognition and finger painting--is absurd. They even played Pomp and Circumstance and processed down the church isles wearing little felt graduation hats. This is exactly the sort of hoopla which typically incites one of my "Oh lets celebrate every tiny accomplishment until there is no such thing as an accomplishment and we are all just wonderful and equal and deserving of only perfectly lovely things" spiels. But I have a confession...

I cried.

It's true! Because next year Boo will be in Kindergarten. And while I was adjusting Boo's collar and attempting to conquer his cowlick I realized that at this time next year the boy resenting my grooming attemps will be the one far taller than me. And he will be wearing a real polyester cap-and-gown and graduating from high school. And somehow the steps between those two boys seem pitifully few. Especially in restrospect.

So I guess I should write about the fact that I have become a Sniveling Sentimental Sap of a Mom, (i.e. SSSOAM) this week.

Anne had her 7th grade awards program tonight at the same time as Boo's "graduation" ceremony. We had been notified that she would be receiving some undisclosed type of award and she had also elected to sing at the ceremony. So I was (in the manner consistent with my new role as a SSSOAM) absolutely distraught to not be able to attend both events.

Which did I choose? The faux graduation ceremony with pint-size accoutraments and very loud singing which still somehow manages to be really-stinkin-cute? Or the middle-school awards program with the mystery award which could very well be something absurd like "Bothered to come to school almost every day" but in which my daughter had been asked to sing? Fortunately, duty solved this problem for me. I work at Boo's preschool so I felt it would be in bad taste not to attend his, ahem, commencement ceremonies.

So Mr. Crumbs--instinctually understanding that the best way to deal with a SSSOAM is with complete obedience--attended Anne's ceremony, video camera in hand. And while I was sobbing with the other SSSOAMS at the preschool graduation, he videotaped her receiving what turned out to be quite an impressive award. As well as singing a lovely a capella song. So when I returned home with one very proud Kindergartener-to-be and watched the videotape of my almost-thirteen-year-old daughter standing, vulnerable, in front of her classmates, doing what I never could have done...Well...

I cried again. Obviously.

I would have given a lot for one of Hermione's time turners tonight. To have been able to sit, in-person, at both events. To watch both of my middle children walk an isle to receive an award, inconsequential or not. Because someday, not too far away, the walk and the awards won't be so inconsequential. And now, all I know for certain is that between now and then I don't want to miss a single thing. And now I'm teary again. This SSSOAM thing is already getting old.


  1. Awww. I'm teary just reading this. Congrats to both of your kiddos. My Katie will be in Kinder next year, but there is no preschool to graduate from. Instead I'm going to try to cram everything I've been meaning to do all year into the next few weeks. I'll let you know how it goes.

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  3. I must be SSSOAM as well this week-your post made me cry!

  4. oh! To have to choose! ack!!! just that alone would make me snivel!

  5. The choices! They are so hard. And either way...I would be bawling too :)

  6. You know, those things ALWAYS get me. I spend the entire night blinking sappy, sappy tears from my eyes. I just hate crying and it doesn't matter what the kid-related ceremony is, they always get me!

  7. We too are often forced to divide our attentions...and you are right, it is hard!

    More in a vague nagging kind of way, like a friend you keep meaning to call--really want to call, in fact--but never do. Until finally you can't call because it's been too long and the elapsed time has made conversation awkward and forced.---HOW do you get in my brain like that?!?