Monday, July 19, 2010

More crumbs...bitter & sweet.

Anne and I went with some friends to see Phantom of the Opera last night. It was a wonderful performance and a lovely gift to watch my Broadway obsessed girl see it for the first time. She positively floated out of the theater. We went with two friends of mine--since high school--and their kids. I was silly and giggly and relaxed in a way I can only be with people who have known me forever. My daughter was shocked and I think we actually embarrassed her and the other teenage girl, which, if I do so say so myself, is a mark of a really great night. There aren't many richer blessings in life than that of old friends.

My mom had her doctor's appointment today, and the news isn't great. She has lung cancer. I thought I was prepared for the worst, but I was wrong. I just sat there and tried to hold back the tears until I got off the phone. Exactly what kind of lung cancer and what the treatment plan is, we won't know until after her biopsy on Wednesday. My mom is sad and scared and turning off the phone and crawling into bed. I understand. It's kind of what I want to do. But I can't. I have to call my 75-year-old grandmother, her mother, and give her the news. And try to convince her not to get on a plane tomorrow. It's been hours now and I still can't do it. She'll be hysterical. I can't handle hysterical right now.

This is life isn't it? Moments of joy squeezed between the mundane and, like today, the heartbreaking. I must say that I often feel I got more than my share of joy. More, certainly, than I deserve. And my mom, I've always feared, got less. I wish I could give her some now. Joy. And Jesus. Jesus, most of all.

So, if you are a prayer, please pray. I am and I will be.


  1. I am a I will pray.

    I'm sorry the news was worse than you expected. I'm sorry these very unpleasant tasks are falling to you. I'm thinking of you and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

  2. I'm just so sorry, my friend. I hope the phone call went as well as can be expected. I don't know what there is to say that would make you feel better, but I'm praying for you and for your mom. I've been thinking about you all day, and I wish I could DO something for you. I'm here if you need me. xoxo

  3. I am praying for you and your family. I pray that Jesus will make Himself known to her in a way that she will not be able to ignore and that she embraces Him and all His love. Don't forget to take care of you, friend.

  4. I am so sorry about your mom. I will be praying for all of you.

  5. Oh, a litle music of the night can fill your needy soul. and embarrassing your teenager... priceless.

    so sorry about the bad news. I hope that the doctors are able to help her fight the cancer, and I will be praying for all of you.