Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Change is Gonna Come...

Summer is on it's way here in the southern US. The last week has brought glorious spring days that invoke images of kites, and checkered picnic blankets and little grimy feet. Today The Littles and I were still at the playground at 8PM, the air warm and sticky, as we watched storms start rolling in from the distance. It felt like summer, and I love summer. The relaxed schedule. The time home with the kids. The sunshine lasting well into the evening hours. But this year, I am finding myself looking forward to it with an even greater level of anticipation.

In the last couple weeks I have noticed some things changing around our house. Changing, dare I say, for the better. Boo and Pepper are now 4 and 2 (actually, nearly 5 and 3) and I am finding this surprisingly less intimidating than last spring when they were 3 and 1. What a difference a year has made, particularly in our mobility. I have suddenly found myself initiating playdates, out of our home as well as in, something I almost never did in the past.

One reason for the change is obvious. Pepper was a very late walker and at this time last year she was barely starting to toddle around upright. Now that she is finally running and jumping and climbing (and kicking and punching) with the rest of the kids, a whole world of play places and parks have opened up to us once again. And then there are other things, smaller things. Pepper, for example, no longer seems to need to feel the need to run screeching away from me each time we enter a parking lot--Praise the Lord--and our Boo has become a little more independent and a bit less shy of older children.

The truth is that having The Littles so close together in age has been hard. The first year we hardly left the house at all. But little by little, things are getting easier. Schedules are finally becoming more flexible. Getting out of the door more manageable. I am even on time to places these days. Well, mostly on time. It's exciting, these change. I had been focusing so much on what I am losing with The Littles getting older that I forgot what I am gaining in the process. I forgot what it was like when it was just Brando and Anne. How much flexibility and mobility we all had to give up when Boo was born. I expect to reclaim a tiny portion of that freedom this summer. And uncharacteristically, I'm making plans. Children's museums and pools and parks and even a little trip to the beach.

Granted, we are not completely there. Not even close. We took the whole family to a movie a few months ago--Pepper's first movie theater experience--and while she did well for two....she is still two. It took a lot of coaxing and a ton of carb-laden snacks to get her through 90 minutes of talking animals. And this morning? There was nothing manageable about getting out of the house this morning. It's actually ironic that I chose to write this post today as I was thirty-minutes late for work for the first time this year. The short people in my home were in full nuclear meltdown when we arrived. So, I know freedom won't be completely ours for many years now. If ever.

Yet, still, I am starting to catch a whisp of it sometimes. A scent of things to come. And like the warm spring breezes sending petals swirling off the trees, it smells like hope.

12 comments:

  1. first of all, your blog design is so cute. Love the cookie on your signature....

    I'm so glad you're feeling a little bit of freedom. I've gone through that in the last couple of years, too, just not being bound any more by naptime or diaper bags, and it is nice. Sad, because they're getting older, but more nice than sad.

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  2. Amen, I'm noticing that, too. I have a feeling the diaper bag will be with me for maybe a couple years to come, but things ARE getting easier. It's almost hard to imagine the freedom we had before the twins were born. It'll be here, eventually! Hopefully sometime in the next year I'll actually be able to take the twins places by myself. Right now they still like to run in two different direction :o)

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  3. Oh, that was Lynn, BTW. Taylor must be logged into gmail-lol~

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  4. I remembered that shift into greater freedom as bittersweet - the joy of mobility clouded by the realization of how quickly the change would render me an interested observer, rather than an active participant in my kids' lives. Cue soggy song about memories...

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  5. Karen-It is the definition of Bittersweet! I guess because of having Anne and Brando I know how much things do change. I have been focusing so much lately on the impending time when The Littles also no longer need (or want) me as much as they do now. It was a nice change to realize that there are actually some good things that come with that increased independence.

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  6. Your blog looks lovely!
    We're at an easily portable stage of my kids' lives - but so often now, they already have THEIR OWN PLANS! How did THAT happen?

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  7. Sounds like some good changes! My kids are far apart, so it was a shock when we suddenly had to go back to a baby schedule. We are working our way out of that, finally :)

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  8. We're finally getting to that place, too, and I love it. We're actually going to start going to church again soon. We were supposed to start last week, but Josh had a migraine...and today, but KayTar was up vomiting last night. But one day soon! LOL.

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  9. don't you love it?! while their aging saddens me on one level, it is also so freeing!

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  10. I get this. It was last summer when Hubby and I both breathed a sigh of relief, turned to each other and said, "We MADE it." (The 2 younger boyz were then 4 and 3.)
    This summer should be even better, and I'm sooo looking forward to it!

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  11. Your blog is adorable! Love it! My first two boys were 19 months apart...not to mention the fact that my oldest was 5 when my fourth was born...so I totally get the joy of reclaiming some freedom (oh, the joy of them bathing and dressing themselves!). But, I never thought at the time I would ever admit it, but I miss it. Sometimes. Really. I do.

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  12. ps

    I've cast you in a little play over at my place

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